High School: A Plate of Scary with a Bit of Joy

January 3rd, 2013 | High School | Comments Off

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”  –Marianne Williamson

What are  you afraid of?

When I was in high school, each day was met with a pit in my stomach.  Sometimes I was nervous about schoolwork I hadn’t finished or tests I didn’t feel prepared for, or there was that pesky Speech class I had with my CrushWhoDoesn’tKnowIExist, or I was worried about facing the Mean Girls on my cheerleading squad.

Regardless of what I feared, the fact that my overarching experience was a plate of Scary seasoned with a bit of Joy was why most of high school came and went painfully for me.

If the Me I am today looks back on each source of fear the Me had back then I can see I had a choice each time.  More often than not, back then I chose to feel the Scary and to not feel the Joy.  Let’s take a look:

On Being Unprepared: What was I afraid of?  I was afraid my teacher would call on me and I would be humiliated by own inadequacy.  The perfectionist in me needed to feel wholly competent on each concept, and when I didn’t get something, I was too proud to seek out help or tutoring.  I didn’t want Everyone to truly, quantifiably know that I was unworthy, because then my parents would be correct in their minimizing barks in my direction.  I pushed myself to achieve, yet I sabotaged my own efforts at success by my nagging self-doubt.  I was the taffy being pulled between my parents’ limiting beliefs I embraced out of a misguided sense of loyalty and my own inkling of the brilliance of my Being.

On the CrushWhoDoesn’tKnowIExist:  His name was Mike, he was a Senior and he was gorgeous.  Unfortunately, the girl he did like, Mary Jo, was also in our class.  She seemed to have and be everything I didn’t and wasn’t.  Each day I was faced with my own irreconcilable Desire (Mike) and the proof (Mary Jo) of my Unworthiness.  Sometimes, though, what we want isn’t really that good for us.  I was the Honor Student, Cheerleader, State Swimming Champion, Junior Achiever.  Mike and Mary Jo were party-ers who skipped class and didn’t have a big plan for their future.  But they were so Cool…

On the Mean Girls: When I was hopping churches, reading Siddartha, and seeking the Truth, my cheerleader ‘friends’ were instigating fights with other girls and actively ostracizing me because I caught them cheating during the voting for cheerleading tryouts.  I loved cheering and dancing, but I couldn’t relate to the petty infighting that colored every practice and game.  What made the experience so painful was how important it seemed at the time for me to conform to a mold of Being that actively confined my Soul.

How could I have found the Joy in high school?  How can you find your Joy right now?

In each aspect of my Scary in high school I shrank from my true Self in an attempt to please others, to fit in, and to conform to the popular view.  What made my life uncomfortable was all the effort I spent Not Being Myself.  I cowered from my own brand of Amazing so other people would like me.

Now I know that, in fact, people would have gravitated more readily to the Me I really was, rather than the Me I thought they would have liked.

So be true to your Self.  Honor and Do and Be what you shine in, and avoid forcing yourself into a mold that doesn’t feel good.  Let your desire for each moment of every day be about feeling good, feeling your power, feeling what is authentically You.

You are truly Magnificent.

Let Go & Start New

January 2nd, 2013 | Mind Changes | Comments Off

So ‘last year’ reading was a pain, and staying up with your reading assignments difficult. Or maybe you did poorly in your math class. At some point in October you felt lost with the Geometry/Algebra/Pre-Calc material and just never were able to catch up.

Now you have an opportunity to change it up, and figure out a new way to work through the classes that feel challenging. Maybe you have finals in January or are starting a new semester.

Either way, the first thing to do in an effort to change your school life is to change your thinking. If you can change your mind about Who you are, What you want, and How you plan to accomplish your goals, what felt hard last year will seem like a breeze.

Stop saying negative things about yourself! Stop going on and on about how much you hate math or you hate Mr. Soandso or reading the Odyssey is just stupid. Stop making excuses that validate your failures. Don’t argue for your limitations.

You are magnificent. You have so many talents and strengths. Just start with what you can do, or what you feel good at. Remember how fun it is to feel good about the tasks at school you enjoy.

Take that joy with you while you prove why two triangles are congruent. Find fun in the annotating you have to do for Romeo and Juliet. Reward yourself for finishing your homework or finals’ review early or on time.

When you are able to be kind with yourself around the classwork that feels hard or in which you struggle, the work will feel effortless…mostly…You get to choose to suffer in school or not.

Why not start this New Year off by deciding to just feel good when you do your work, no matter what?  See what is good in your schoolwork instead of what you hate, and you might find there are fewer things to be upset or worried about.

Change Your Mind and Change Your Life!

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January 1st, 2013 | Uncategorized | Comments Off

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Test Terror

December 31st, 2012 | Tests | Comments Off

Lots of people call it test anxiety, but when you have 40 minutes to do 10 questions and you look at Question 1 and have no idea where to start…it truly is terrorizing.

We all have blamed our collective testing blackouts and malfunctions on the jerk-off teacher or the calculator that didn’t work right or the fact that we ran out of time and how unfair the test was.  But when our pencil and test paper meet that fateful day, we are truly the only culpable party to our own test performance.

We are responsible for what letter or percentage is written in red on the top of the page the next day.  And every time, that number represents who we think we are.  That number tells us not Who we really are, but who we believe ourselves to be.

Do you know you are the master of your own life?  Or are you certain that You Don’t Test Well?

Are you convinced you have issues with schoolwork, or have learning problems, or your teacher doesn’t like you?  You don’t like that class anyway and why do you need to know that fact in real life?  The class is boring and you will never use the information you are supposed to parrot back to the teacher in your future career.

It is all good, right?

No matter what bravado we wear on test day, that too-low red number can be painful to see on the top of our test paper the next day.  Each stroke of red ink can feel like a stab in the gut telling us we are not worth much, and we will never succeed in life.

I would like to point out, however, a few facts to the contrary.  Instead of your poor test grade representing all that you lack and have failed in, the red ink is like the bumpers you can have put up at the bowling alley…you know the ones they put up for little kids, but we all like to put them up and play anyway.  Or  like the bumps in the middle of a two-lane road, or on the sides of a freeway that make annoying sounds when you drive over them, but you are so grateful they are there to let you know you have drifted out of your lane.

The bowling alley bumpers and the freeway bumps are there for the same reason.  They are gentle reminders that let us know when we have gone off of our path.  We have missed the mark.  They help us steer ourselves back on the right track and get to where we want to go.

Your test grades can do the same thing for you.  They can let you know that a few adjustments in your academic life might need to be made.  You can prepare more thoroughly for a test by reviewing the material and finishing all the homework before you sit for the test.  You can go over the material and retake notes on parts you are not too sure about as well.

Let’s say that preparation is not the problem.  When you take any test, no matter how well you know the material, you still do poorly.  You feel nervous before each exam, like you want to throw up, and you never do well on your exams.

So what makes you forget all that you know when you sit down to take your exam?  What is the reason we all sometimes choke when the pressure to succeed bears down on us?

There is only ONE answer to this question, no matter how it is worded or posed.  You will only do as well as you believe you can.  If you know you can’t do math or don’t like chemistry, the red ink on the top of your test paper will make you right every time.  In this you cannot fail.  All the preparation in the world will not overcome your overarching belief that you don’t test well, or aren’t good at math or English.

So let some of your work in school be about changing your beliefs.  Change how you feel about yourself with regard to the class you have a test in.  You might not like the class, but you do like yourself, and you do want to do and be the best you can be in All that you do: even the boring stuff.

When you are able to know you can do anything you set your mind to and that you are the Master of your life, even when it comes to Geometry or Chemistry or History, you will start to see improvements on your test taking performances.

Don’t Limit Yourself

December 29th, 2012 | College Applications | Comments Off

For most teens, Winter Break from school means late nights with friends, sleeping in, tons of food, and screen time. It is a time to decompress from weeks of too much studying for school, sports activities and Holiday events.

Some teens have finals to study for in January and some have just received their semester grades. Some students now know their PSAT scores or are busy writing their college application essays. There is busy-ness in the pause vacation allows, and sometimes there is a HUGE bear on your shoulder helping you to avoid important tasks and deadlines you face on January 7th.

That sugar-induced monster called Procrastination is tricky, slippery, and easy to get stuck within.

Imbedded in the Monster’s seductive message of,
“Don’t worry, you have tons of time to get your paperprojectstudyguidecollegeessay done. You don’t need to work on it today…you can get it all done after New Year’s,”
is a whispering lie you believe is truth and tell yourself over and over subconsciously.

You say, “I am not good, I won’t succeed, I don’t care, It doesn’t matter, It’s boring, I don’t want to try because I might fail, It’s all good, No big deal.”

The amount of energy you can spend justifying why you are avoiding your responsibility could be used to actually accomplish the task you are choosing not to do 20 times over. You also know that it feels awful to put your work off…the guilt taints the fun you are attempting to have while avoiding the job you have to do.

And, more importantly, in Doing rather than Trying to Do or Thinking About Doing, you will experience your power more fully.

And POWER is what it is all about. Power is what we all came to this life to experience. Your Being just wants to feel Good inside, to feel Able and Worthy. No matter what, you and I and we are all Worthy, Able and Good. But we can’t FEEL Worthy until we accomplish what we set out to do.

Right now for most of you, what you have in front of you to do is schoolwork, sports, acting, singing, dancing, or your club activity or hobby. No matter what your work is, start to notice when you put it off, feel guilty about it, and then throw something together in the last possible moments. Realize that in those slippery, avoiding moments you are CHOOSING to be your smaller, limited Self.

Change it up this time, and CHOOSE to just get it done. Be amazed by how good that feels.

Blair Tyse
“I believe in you long enough for you to feel strong enough to start to believe in yourself.”

Hello world!

December 29th, 2012 | Uncategorized, Welcome | 1 Comment »

Grade A Thoughts from Blair Tyse is a life-changing window into how your mind helps or hinders your schoolwork.

You can limit yourself or be sure you go after what you want in school or in life.  You get to pick.

Every thing you do or don’t do is your choice.  Once you realize that you are truly in charge of how each school-year, each semester, each mid-term, each week, each day or moment turns out, there is no limit to what you can do or be or have.

This blog is designed to help you find your way.

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